So today I am thinking of my sister and missing her. Spending time with my brother today was part of it. It was 11 years ago tomorrow that we lost her. And I can still remember all the details of that day...where I was, what I was doing, and who was there with me. It was surreal and all I could think was....this isn't happening! You didn't just say what I thought you did! In some ways it seems just like yesterday and in others, it seems like a lifetime ago. Is that how our Heavenly Father feels about all of us here on earth? Does it seem like it has been forever since He has been with us or has it really just been yesterday? I am so grateful for the gospel in my life and the knowledge that it brings me. I know I will see Pam again. I know she is doing great work where she is at and that she is waiting for the time we will all be together again.
I think of her often and am reminded of her more times than people know. A song will be sung and it will bring a tear to my eye as a thought of her enters my mind. I will read something that will make me "feel" her near. I see pictures of her and remember those moments. And then I look at a picture that she should be in and I sigh. I miss her and I miss the relationship that sisters have. I often wonder how different it would be after all this time has gone by. Would we be closer? Every week at church I see a lady in my ward that reminds me of her in so many ways. She has some of the same mannerisms....she has a physical look that gives me glimpses of my sister. She is unaware of the affect she has on me.
I feel cheated out of time with my sister. I feel we lost time together that could have brought us closer and shared things that only sisters can. My life is forever changed not having her in my life all these years. She left 2 daughters that I think about all the time. I can't imagine being so young and not having my mother with me. They are both grown and on their own now, but I worry about them as a mother would. I guess maybe more so since Pam is not here to mother them.
This really isn't a post for all of you...it is a post for me to remember a sister that is in my heart every day who left this earth way too early.
Class Picture
14 years ago
5 comments:
Oh Melanie, this had me in tears. I am so sorry you lost your sister so young. It is a reminder to me to make sure I don't take my own relationship with my sister for granted.
Like Tara, your words brought tears to my eyes. I am so sorry that you lost your sweet sister so young. I hope you can feel her spirit this Christmas and know that she still loves you as you do her.
I was ok with no tears until I read your thoughts. I miss her too, and wonder how things would be if she were still here. Would her girls come and see is? Would their lives be the same? I am hoping that they will remember her today and the lessons she taught them. I am also hopeing that they will visit her grave. I am also happy that you got to visit with Mark. Our visit with him was very sweet even tho it was so short. and am happy that he made the effort to get together with you.
I'm sorry Melanie, I can't imagine losing one of my sisters so young. I'd love to see a picture of her if you have one to put with this post.
Hugs, Mel. I loved hearing you tell me stories of your sister. I always knew how much she meant to you. I love that those memories are still vivid. Love you.
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